


it's just you and me trying to find a light

by greeneyescurlyfries (orphan_account)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, New fandom woop woop, Yeyyyy a longer fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-31
Updated: 2013-01-31
Packaged: 2017-11-27 15:43:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/663711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/greeneyescurlyfries
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam and Niall keep passing each other by.</p>
            </blockquote>





	it's just you and me trying to find a light

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from Mat Kearney's wonderful wonderful sing Ships in the Night. originally published on tumblr as a fill for one of Stephanie's prompts.   
> here have some feelings.

Liam isn’t sure when this thing started. Just that he was lonely and Niall was sunshiney. Honestly, it’s like little rays of rainbows and puppies just burst out of that golden little leprechaun head of his.

After Danielle left things got kinda heavy and Liam got kinda sad. He didn’t want the rest of the boys to know how torn up he was, tried to pretend that he saw it coming and it wasn’t a surprise and he wasn’t that upset. But Niall is a lot more perceptive than people think, and a lot more compassionate than he comes across as on screen. So he was there for Liam when Liam needed a friend, a warm body to hold onto, and just someone who would sit and listen and grunt and sigh and laugh at the appropriate times.

Niall was easy, he was laid-back and hard to upset, but he was sort of fragile. So it was a surprise to Liam when late-night cuddles turned into early morning makeout sessions, and early morning makeout sessions turned into midday blowjobs and midday blowjobs turned into after-show sex.

And then somehow, in the midst of cavalier dismissals and slightly painful justifications, after-show sex turned into feelings. And feelings are messy. And Liam isn’t quite sure he knows how to deal after Danielle. He didn’t even know that he liked boys. Well, okay, he got some inkling after seeing Harry naked the 9384th time. Harry has nice abs. And unjustly cute dimples.

But Niall understood, and he wasn’t quite as oblivious as Harry, and he was more available than Harry, and Louis, and Zayn. So it was easier to fall in love with Niall.

And after a while, that’s exactly what Liam did.

···

Niall just wanted Liam to stop moping, really. Mopey Liam is the human manifestation of a guilt-trip. He turns into a kicked puppy and no boyband has enough sense of responsibility to handle a kicked puppy.

So if it took cuddles to turn Mopey Liam into Happy Liam, then by golly, that’s what Niall would do.

So Niall snuck into Liam’s bed at midnight about a week after the break-up, and wrapped his arms around Liam’s waist and buried his nose in Liam’s neck and tried to memorize the way Liam smelled. And he felt Liam sigh against him, but it was cathartic, and it felt like a contented sigh, not something that needed hushing and ice cream. It felt, as Liam’s back melted into his chest, as if he had been waiting for something like this, and Niall felt a little guilty, like he was taking advantage of Liam, because he knew that he had never felt exactly platonic towards Liam, that he had wanted, for so long, an excuse to hold Liam like this. He hadn’t exactly felt resentful toward Danielle, but the breakup didn’t keep Niall up nights.

So he was a little more than okay with being here in Liam’s bed, even if it was just under the guise of comforting a friend. But at the back of his head there was a naggy little feeling that he was setting himself up for failure, and he was fighting a losing battle, and he knew firsthand that Liam didn’t like boys, that the reason Niall was here was because Liam liked girls, and one had hurt him.

But he ignored it for now and just concentrated on breathing slowly onto Liam’s neck.

···

Both of them knew how they felt. Both of them were too scared to say anything. Even in a post-orgasm haze, when confessions fell so easily out of swollen lips, the fear of something getting messed up was enough to muffle their words.

But it took a stubborn slap from Louis to break them.

No. Louis actually slapped both of them. At the same time.

“What is wrong with you two?! You are head over heels for each other and you’re not even willing to admit it!”

Niall shifted uncomfortably.

“What?” Liam laughed nervously. Please, please, please.

“You two? Are in love. Talk about it,” Louis dismissed them with a flamboyant wave and skipped out of the room.

“He’s probably going to go convince Harry to lock someone in a bathroom,” Niall sighed.

“Yeah.”

“We should probably stop him.”

“Yeah.”

But neither moved and they just stood there, listening to the cadence of the other’s breath, trying to find a hitch or a change, praying.

“So… Louis-”

“Niall, please. Please.”

And somehow Niall understood the inflection of Liam’s voice, heard the silent request, and turned to look at him, wide blue eyes looking, searching. Liam stared at the floor stoically.  
“If he finds out that we didn’t talk he’s gonna be so mad.”

And Liam nodded, because they know Louis, and that’s how Louis operates, and sometimes he doesn’t really get why people don’t say exactly what they’re feeling, so he isn’t great to go to for relationship advice, but he’s a great break-up friend, for what it’s worth.

So Niall gently took Liam’s hand and sat him down on the couch in Liam’s apartment and settled down carefully across from him and cleared his throat.  
Liam looked up at him, puppy dog eyes returning, and that was it, Niall had had enough, and it all came bursting out of him in a pent-up flood of emotions and want and need.

“You know what, no- no! You don’t get to look at me like that with those- those fucking doe eyes and blame me and look as if you didn’t do anything wrong, which is exactly what you did- nothing! You did nothing just when you needed to do something and you don’t get to look at me like this whole thing is my fault, because you know what? Louis’ right! I am in love with you, and I don’t care that you probably don’t feel the same way because it’s true and I’m sick and tired of holding you and not really getting to hold you and I just want something to change and I don’t care what it is because anything would be better than this stupid in-between thing that’s going on.”

Niall breathed hard and Liam stared.

“Why do you think I don’t feel the same way?” Liam whispered, and Niall laughed sarcastically and bitterly and a little too harshly, maybe, because Liam winced and that wasn’t fair because Niall goes and pours his heart out to the guy and that’s all he has to say?

“Maybe because you didn’t do anything? Maybe because you just got out of a relationship? With a girl? And would you please stop looking at me like that?”

Niall heard a muttered sorry and Liam looked at the floor.

“I think… I’m just afraid.”

Niall looked up.

“I think I’m afraid because I’ve never done anything like this ever before and I don’t know how to do it and I wasn’t expecting it.”

Niall crossed to sit next to Liam and wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

“It’s not… I mean- it wouldn’t be any different… I’m not trying to… to pressure you or anything. It’s just gotten too hard for me to deal with it like this anymore.”

And Niall heard the unspoken “That’s what she said” in Liam’s smile, and shoved his shoulder gently.

Liam turned to him, his face so close. Niall could feel Liam’s breath on his face.

“Niall?”

“Yeah.”

“I love you.”

“Yeah.”

“And not just as a friend. Niall Horan, I am in love with you.”

“Yeah?”

“Would you stop saying that and kiss me or something?”

So Niall took Liam’s face in his hands and laughed breathily onto his lips and kissed him. He was gentle at first, but necessity is a funny thing, and Liam gripped the back of his neck and forced his tongue past Niall’s lips and Niall thought that maybe bruises would develop there and then he thought, as Liam worked his way down Niall’s neck into the delicate junction of his shoulder and his throat, that maybe he wouldn’t mind bruises, especially- oh -especially when Liam made them like that. Liam pulled back and watched the blood rise to the surface of the skin and pop inaudibly, satisfied with the brand. Niall kissed his nose and Liam looked at him like a puppy again, but it was okay this time because they were okay.

And their lips met again, harsher and Liam pushed Niall back against the couch and straddled him, bracing his hands on either side of Niall’s head. Their legs tangled in a hot knot of worked-up tension, and if Niall and Liam rutted frantically up against each other, no one cared because it was them and they were allowed.

Liam ground his hips down against Niall’s, and an embarrassed whine poured from Niall’s throat. Their thrusts got desperate and needy and Niall felt as if he was going to fall off the edge of something beautiful. Niall worked his hands up and down Liam’s torso, absorbing and appreciating and not feeling guilty because of it. And faster than he expected, Niall felt the familiar white-hot heat shade everything and ecstasy surged through him and he shouted, loud, and Liam caught it in a kiss as he felt Liam come as well. Liam kissed his jaw and he sighed into it on a euphoric high, and he knew they had to stop because they had an interview in thirty and Niall couldn’t just waltz in there with rumpled hair and a thousand lovebites littered across his face.

So Niall slowed his kisses to listless drags of heat and skin, and breathed onto Liam’s neck. And Liam slowed and his breathing slowed and it got lazy and easy. Niall was content. Because they had time to do this, and Liam wasn’t going anywhere and Niall sure as hell wasn’t going anywhere, so why rush it?

So they changed together, slowly, and they smiled at each other, slowly, and when Louis came in they were smiling and kissing and Louis rolled his eyes and tapped his foot and pointed at his watch and just acted generally like a diva and as they brushed past him they both slapped his ass and he rolled his eyes again because ugh. Young love.


End file.
